I like living in Thailand. It is not perfect by any means, but on balance there is nowhere else I would rather be, especially as she who must be obeyed would collapse into a spice-free mess if I took her away from a regular supply of the food she loves.

Living here as a retiree requires an annual visit to the immigration department and I have nothing but praise for the people who work there. Just stand by the doorway for a few minutes and experience the influx of foul smelling, badly dressed, ill-informed, grumpy selection of humanity than arrives expecting service. And that’s just the French. And in response there is politeness and smiles from the Thai staff. Personally I would be going Basil Fawlty on their Gallic arses in a matter of minutes; but I am not designed to service the public.

The history of the Ocean 1 project, reported here many times, has been a rollercoaster ride; mainly in the downward direction.

After years of inactivity, I recall the frisson of excitement that rippled through the Pattaya community when Siam Royal Best Enterprises, the developers, announced the arrival of a concrete batching plant which would be used to create the foundations. Exciting times, and the news was displayed on the Ocean 1 website.

Sadly, this was to be the last ever news update. Even more sadly, for those who had “invested” in this magnificent enterprise, the concrete plant was soon churning out concrete, but none of it was being used for foundations. Instead, the concrete was being transported to other projects that were actually being constructed.

This sad charade continued for a couple years, until one of my loyal readers who will remain nameless (thank you Egglebert), sent me some shots showing that the batching plant was being dismantled without ever having fulfilled its proclaimed purpose:

Took a trip down to the site the other day and the it looks pretty much as it did when the project was first launched five (six? seven?) years ago:

“Glue factory essentials monthly” perhaps? Whatever, I think it is a pretty good shot.

It’s been a busy week, low-light of which was a trip to Bangkok on Wednesday to attend a meeting of our condo committee. Somehow I ended up as secretary to the committee, which means I spent some time before the meeting preparing for it, and some time after the meeting writing the minutes to reflect what I wanted them to say rather than what actually happened (one of the perks of the job). Then of course there was the kissing contest to be photographed and written about and other mundane tasks such as lining up documents for my retirement visa extension next week.

And then there was a condo to photograph. We have a friend with a condo who wants to rent it out and needed some snaps to stick on the advertisement. Who’s she gonna call?

The condo has big, bright windows, which means the photos did a good job of displaying blown-out highlights in the window area rather than highlighting what a desirable residence it might be:

I was beaten as a child. I can clearly remember the day my father put me over his knee and gave my backside a bit of a beating. I also remember the circumstances that led up to the event.

I was around eight years old and had been on a school trip. I didn’t have any money with me and when all the other kids bought ice cream, I couldn’t. Luckily for me, a teacher took pity on me and bought me one.

If one had to evaluate Saeid Moradi’s performance as an international assassin; “could do better” would be verging on the kind.

Moradi and his chums had a nice little bomb factory going in a house in the suburbs of Bangkok; until one of the bombs exploded and removed the roof off the house. Moradi’s chums took off immediately and headed in a taxi to the airport (where one was promptly arrested and the other caught in Malaysia). But Moradi had been hurt in the blast so left a little later. He didn’t use the time to clean himself up however and his slightly bloody countenance was probably why taxis refused to stop for him.

It’s Valentine’s Day (apparently) and the moral police are out in force as usual. Sixty million condoms are being distributed (although I haven’t been given mine yet) and teenagers are being advised that Valentine’s Day is not an appropriate day under Thai culture to have a first sexual experience; although no guidance is being given as to when would be an appropriate day.

Extra police have been drafted in and “officers will be patrolling entertainment venues, motels, apartments with rooms for rent at a daily rate, snooker halls, internet cafes, and any other areas that underage teens may gather to take drugs and engage in sexual activities.” Personally, I am going to patrol an internet cafe and see if I can spot a couple fornicating on the function keys, should make for a good shot.

In Pattaya we have our own unique take on this romantic day, a bid to break the world record for the world’s longest kiss. Entrance to the competition was open to “couples who are husband and wife or lovers as man-man, woman-woman who have been living together for not less than one year”. This seemed to specifically excluded male/female couples who were not married and I immediately lodged a complaint with the International Court of Human Rights, Petty Claims Division.

I went to check out the competition yesterday and was greeted by a stern warning sign: