After several years and many episodes, it was left to the last episode of all to provide us with resolution. Would our hero die or escape to pursue a life elsewhere? What would be the fate of the other characters in this intense drama? How could all the unresolved issues be tied up in the final hour? Would fans of the show feel satisfied with the outcome?

This fan was left completely unsatisfied. In fact I was already losing interest as this final season progressed. Weak storyline, poor acting, dull script; I just wanted it to finish. Thankfully it did that, and ended with one of the worst episodes from a series already noted for bad episodes. A pathetic attempt at pathos and romance, unfulfilled character resolution and an ending so unlikely it was laughable. Utter crap and I am glad the nonsense is finished with.

Having decided we would go to Kyoto, she who must be obeyed had only one question; and it wasn’t “how many world heritage sites does it have?” No, there was only question on her mind and it was “do they have any markets?”

I was happy to inform her that there were only two monthly markets, and less pleased to tell her that one of them took place the day after our arrival. And it was within walking distance of our hotel.

Walking distance is relative of course, and we soon were to discover that the Japanese walk a lot and that walking distance on a hot thirty degree plus Saturday morning was something on an undertaking. Anyway, we eventually arrived at Toji Temple where there was an air of calm in some areas:

Unless it is.

Our flight to Osaka left at just after midnight and touched down some five hours later. Allowing for refreshments after take-off and breakfast before landing; that didn’t leave much time for sleeping; and it was pretty hard to sleep anyway. Consequently we arrived in a zombie-like state and staggered into the train to go to Kyoto. I paid an exorbitant surcharge for an early check-in at the rather splendid Granvia hotel which sits on top of the main Kyoto station and after a quick shower it was time to venture out for food.

This might be an appropriate time to admit that I was somewhat apprehensive about a trip to Japan. Conventional wisdom implied that it was a difficult place to visit due to language problems, from both the unintelligible signage and the limited English skills of the populace. It took me a couple of hours to discover that I had nothing to worry about; navigation is not that tough, and if you are lost the Japanese are very eager to help.

Our search for food took us to a collection of restaurants, most of which had dummy meals in the window with prices affixed. One place seemed to be offering a set lunch for a set price; so we thought we would try that, although there was nothing in English outside that indicated what might be on offer. But once inside, we were offered an English menu and a lady explained in halting English what was available. The food was excellent, especially the contents of a side-dish table which we could raid as often as we wanted. I have no idea what any of the dishes were, but they were all really tasty. Bill paid and arigato all round and then it was off to be a tourist.

We were exhausted, and so decided to visit just a single location which sat conveniently on a bus route. We eventually found the correct bus stand and I went to the machine to buy a ticket. I was there for a while, attempting to stuff a 1,000 yen note into a machine. Eventually, a Japanese man came over and showed me how I had to lift a plastic cover first….

We had not yet armed ourselves with maps and other information; so just sat on the bus and waited for our stop to be announced. When it was, we jumped off; only to find that we were nowhere near where we should be. Totally lost, she who must be obeyed collared a passing schoolboy who had no idea what we wanted, so he collared some other passing schoolkids and we soon had a whole classroom’s worth of students consulting books, maps and each other. Finally they came to a collective decision and pointed to a place on the map which was clearly incorrect. Much bowing and *arigato *all round; and then we took a taxi which was bloody expensive but at least got us there.

“There” was Kinkaku-ji, a gold leaf covered building which was originally built in 1397 and no doubt looked very old and authentic until a novice monk burned it down in 1950. The rebuild was still very pretty in the afternoon sun.

Those who live in the Pattaya area cannot fail to have noticed the imminent arrival of an exciting new tourist attraction, thanks to thousands of these plastered all over town:

A teddy bear museum! A grand opening! Today! Frankly, I found it hard to sleep last night, and it was with barely concealed excitement that I took my equally excited wife down to Beach Road this morning for a surfeit of bears.

Those of an enquiring disposition may have noticed that my postings over the past week have contained more of a Japanese flavour than would normally be found in Pattaya.

After eighteen months of hard work, she who must be obeyed was finally given a week off work by her begrudging employer. I said that I would take her wherever she wanted to go (apart from Europe (especially France), or anywhere where there was currently a state of war), and she said “Japan”.

..you feel obliged to take your mother-in-law to a transvestite show where they (badly) mime appalling ballads, as an inappropriate thank you for her looking after your cats while you were away.